Drabble

[fellbeastie]

I'm working on a series of Pippin drabbles focusing on the five senses. Here's the first one:


Sound

Elven voices fill the air with song, but they cannot drown out Pippin’s memory.

Moria was deathly silent; but for the Company’s footfalls, there was nothing to be heard. After a few hours in that cavern of nothingness, Pippin wanted to scream, just to hear a living voice.

Mallorn leaves rustle in the wind. Snapping twigs remind Pippin of the stone he dropped in the well, and it’s horrific consequences.

The Orcs’ tapping hammers, and harsh shrieking, still echo in his soul. He dropped that stone because he needed to hear something. Now he longs for silence.


Reviews would be much appreciated. :)

Comments

[allie-meril.livejournal.com]

Ooo, you caught me 9 minutes before I was going to go to bed!

Now, let me first say that I very much like this drabble: such a variety of sounds Pippin must have heard on the Quest, which he never had heard in the Shire!

May I make a suggestion which may involve a bit of rewriting? Or is this a finished piece?

[grey-wonderer.livejournal.com]

I have always been in awe of anyone who can write a drabble. I never could say so much in so few words. This sets Pippin's mood very well. He must have felt terrible and very guilty at that point even though there were many things that could have caused the Balrog to appear when it did. I enjoyed your drabble.

[dreamflower]

Poor Pippin, it must have been so hard for him. That second sentence: just perfect, I can quite imagine how hard the silence must have been for him.

[slightlytookish]

I can imagine that the eerie silence would have been very difficult for all of them. That's very interesting, to write a drabble for each of the 5 senses. I'm looking forward to reading the next four :)

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

The silence must have been terrible for the hobbits, and Pippin especially. And the last line chills me in its implications. I like this very much and I will be eager to read more.

[shirebound]

He dropped that stone because he needed to hear something. Now he longs for silence.

Wow, that's very powerful.