Drabble

[fellbeastie]

I'm working on a series of Pippin drabbles focusing on the five senses. Here's the first one:


Sound

Elven voices fill the air with song, but they cannot drown out Pippin’s memory.

Moria was deathly silent; but for the Company’s footfalls, there was nothing to be heard. After a few hours in that cavern of nothingness, Pippin wanted to scream, just to hear a living voice.

Mallorn leaves rustle in the wind. Snapping twigs remind Pippin of the stone he dropped in the well, and it’s horrific consequences.

The Orcs’ tapping hammers, and harsh shrieking, still echo in his soul. He dropped that stone because he needed to hear something. Now he longs for silence.


Reviews would be much appreciated. :)

Comments

[allie-meril.livejournal.com]

Ooo, you caught me 9 minutes before I was going to go to bed!

Now, let me first say that I very much like this drabble: such a variety of sounds Pippin must have heard on the Quest, which he never had heard in the Shire!

May I make a suggestion which may involve a bit of rewriting? Or is this a finished piece?

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

May I make a suggestion which may involve a bit of rewriting?

Go right ahead.

[allie-meril.livejournal.com]

Well, as it is, I've started a Pippin ficlet because of the nuzgul that jumped from this drabble to my ankle (nasty little bugger).

There's one part that really stuck with me, and that I felt needed to be expanded: the reasoning behind Pippin's dropping the stone in the well because of the need to hear something real. That was very, very, very well interpreted, and it made me wish for more information.

So I started writing last night. Very weird, because I don't write hobbits: they are just not my speciality. But who am I to deny the will of the nuzgul? It's partially finished now, and I just need to find time this week to hunker down and write the rest.

And that's what I felt the focus was: the need for human sound in Moria. But since I'm writing it out, I don't feel any impulse to have you change your drabble.

Oh, and I will credit you for inspiration, when I post my ficlet, of course.

[grey-wonderer.livejournal.com]

I have always been in awe of anyone who can write a drabble. I never could say so much in so few words. This sets Pippin's mood very well. He must have felt terrible and very guilty at that point even though there were many things that could have caused the Balrog to appear when it did. I enjoyed your drabble.

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I am likewise in awe of your multi-chapter stories. It'd take me forever to write one of those.

Pippin felt horrible indeed, poor lad.

Beruthiel

[dreamflower]

Poor Pippin, it must have been so hard for him. That second sentence: just perfect, I can quite imagine how hard the silence must have been for him.

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

This was easy to imagine; the silence would have driven me nuts, too.

Beruthiel

[slightlytookish]

I can imagine that the eerie silence would have been very difficult for all of them. That's very interesting, to write a drabble for each of the 5 senses. I'm looking forward to reading the next four :)

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

I got the idea from someone else who did five sense-ficlets that were absolutely beautiful. Different fandom, though.

The next four will be coming soon.

Beruthiel

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

The silence must have been terrible for the hobbits, and Pippin especially. And the last line chills me in its implications. I like this very much and I will be eager to read more.

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the review, and hello!

Beruthiel

[shirebound]

He dropped that stone because he needed to hear something. Now he longs for silence.

Wow, that's very powerful.

[fell-beast2.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Sorry to take so long to reply.